Went with Sebastian to school this morning, as I do most mornings and it was a bad one. Meltdowns for the minute we left the nurses office until nearly 8:30. I won't go into details right now, but I have been doing a lot of thinking.
Granted we need the money badly, but we are also trying to get Sebastian on SSI. Anyway, what is needed of me right now is bigger than a paycheck. I have to keep cutting back my hours, of course I never thought that school was going to make things even more complicated, I figured, but didn't know to what extent was going to be the case.
I find it harder and harder to get my hours, really on a regular school schedule, I could do 5 hours of my normal "job" with a little time too do the extras like writing or transcription. But, since Sebastian has started school or even this year as a whole, with knowing that this is autism it has been harder and harder with all of the appointments and learning on all of our parts. Work has suffered.
I am so very, very happy that I can finally have something that I can do from home, for a good rate and that I can work anytime that I want to work, but that also means, I cut into what my children need. Generally I wanted 4 hours a day through the month, which would equal to 90 hours, plus some extra work. Money that will be here by Christmas... Which we really need at this time.
It is important to focus on Sebastian though. He is having trouble adjusting in school, and it may end up that I pull him out of school and strictly home-school him. Right now, he is on half-days. There is a case conference tomorrow. After the morning we had with Sebastian, I am looking forward to this tomorrow. We can all get together and brain-storm and get on the same page with what we are doing.
What is done there, should be done at home and vice-versa, this is going to be the only way that we can get him motivated. I think they are going to cut his hours once again... To just his first period and, speech therapy. So, he would end up being home by 10 instead of 11:45 now. This makes me very sad, but I am realizing that maybe I need to be working with hims even harder at home.
I am going to get a table, or trying to get a table for a space in the house, it might take until January before I can get this going, but I need supplies. I want to setup the table here in the living room and work with him like he would be worked at-at school. I can be his teacher, I can teach him here just like he would get it at school.
I am cutting his computer time, I am also going to even closer watch his trouble behaviors. We have got to get this going, figure all of this stuff out and do what is best for our little guy. It won't be easy, but... It's what Sebastian needs.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
November 28, 2010.
What a week!! It has been so busy around here with Mom trying to work to make what is needed for Christmas, and this past week was Thanksgiving. Bills are piling up recently and the van is a total mess, we are currently waiting to hear if Sebastian will qualify for SSI or not, certainly he will. We go on December 6 @ 12:30 for a speech evaluation for him...
Thanksgiving was good, Nick went to spend time with his great-grandma from Thursday to tonight (Sunday). After Nick left on Thursday, I slept in preparation for Black Friday. We left for Black Friday at 12 a.m. and didn't get home until 9 a.m. Target was the worst and Wal-Mart made me mad with the bracelets for the TV's that I had no general clue about...
Friday, I slept. Saturday, I slept again. Momma has been working so hard at making Christmas monies and dealing with Mommy things, sleep took a back-burner. Sunday, I tried to work and cleaned some, so over-stressed here.
Nick came home tonight and I was really pretty mad. He left and was told more than enough times to pickup his room before he left, Mom would not be doing this anymore, and if he wanted to go, he had to finish his chores before he did. Grandma didn't help, rushing him out sooner than we expected, we were shortened on time, but he did have time as trash should be taken out around dinner every night and his room is to be picked up everyday and clean before bedtime.
He left at 1 p.m. his room was a mess for two days, clothes everywhere, bowls of food, toys spread everywhere. The trash, there were two bags full of trash in the kitchen, plus the dog had gotten a-hold of the trash in the trash cans and had it spread all over the yard.
When I woke up, I told him about it. He broke down very easily about it, and got overly dramatic. I questioned if he took his medicine and he said yes, I haven't counted the pills. I had him go to sleep, he was coughing pretty heavily (I had him setup the humidifier and he got some Robitussin). His moods were insane tonight after being gone for a few evenings, screaming at Sebastian, ignoring his little brother, playing roughly with him then getting upset when the consequences hit him in the face (Sebastian sitting on him etc).
For every action, there is a reaction. Sometimes, the way he treats Sebastian, Sebastian will give it back, then Nick gets hurt and it's a cycle...
Sometimes I don't know how to handle this. Everyone feels that Sebastian is ganging up on them, sometimes when he plays, this is HOW he plays.
Like, the other day I was speaking to Grandma. Sebastian likes to watch videos on YouTube right now, the volume will VARY from video to video, but she gets so upset with him... She thinks he turns it up on purpose. 99.9% of the time it's the VIDEO change itself, not a personal attack to Grandma.
I see a lot of the way Nick acts, is how his Grandmother acts. Her mouth, her reactions, her breakdowns. I don't know what to do about that either, if I say anything to her about the way she acts, I get a song and dance about how she was raised this way and she did this-this-this and this and didn't wait. Or, how she can't have anything and how she is unappreciated. It's dramatic and stressful.
Oh how I can't wait for the day that we can own our own home and build her an apartment in the basement or the garage or something. She cannot take care of herself alone, or she wouldn't be in the situation she is in. But, sometimes there needs to be a separation because of the kids, she is too much a part of the family without being part of the work.
Sebastian is doing okay. He had an okay weekend, pretty routine for him. Wanting more than he can ever get, requesting toys and things, which we say wait for Christmas and he gets upset. This kid is insane sometimes with these things, He wants Luigi, then the next day he wants Tails. I got him Luigi from Wal-Mart on Black Friday and he wanted Tails that day, he got upset and wanted me to go out to get Tails. What?!?!
Christmas dude, Christmas.
Today was an okay one. But, Sebastian was a bit moody and cocky there for a while. He is doing some voices that, the only way I can put them remind me of Stewart from SNL. The whispering part, when he talks? It's kind of cute, like apparently I guess the school has been teaching him to whisper and this is what we get, hehe.
He was just struggling a bit today, but I couldn't figure out WHY exactly. Until Nick got home, I was about to fall asleep and they both come barreling down the stairs and go for food. Seb is talking to Nick and Nick says something about Bastian missing a tooth! Of course I jump up all excited in fashion, yep he lost a tooth.
That explains why he wanted gum all day and why he was slightly cranky.
Bastian cannot express these things. With the first tooth, he knew it wiggled and he knew it was going to come out, but this time there was no verbal communication about another loose tooth. I am just going to periodically try and wiggle his teeth from now on and just figure it out on my own!
Thanksgiving was good, Nick went to spend time with his great-grandma from Thursday to tonight (Sunday). After Nick left on Thursday, I slept in preparation for Black Friday. We left for Black Friday at 12 a.m. and didn't get home until 9 a.m. Target was the worst and Wal-Mart made me mad with the bracelets for the TV's that I had no general clue about...
Friday, I slept. Saturday, I slept again. Momma has been working so hard at making Christmas monies and dealing with Mommy things, sleep took a back-burner. Sunday, I tried to work and cleaned some, so over-stressed here.
Nick came home tonight and I was really pretty mad. He left and was told more than enough times to pickup his room before he left, Mom would not be doing this anymore, and if he wanted to go, he had to finish his chores before he did. Grandma didn't help, rushing him out sooner than we expected, we were shortened on time, but he did have time as trash should be taken out around dinner every night and his room is to be picked up everyday and clean before bedtime.
He left at 1 p.m. his room was a mess for two days, clothes everywhere, bowls of food, toys spread everywhere. The trash, there were two bags full of trash in the kitchen, plus the dog had gotten a-hold of the trash in the trash cans and had it spread all over the yard.
When I woke up, I told him about it. He broke down very easily about it, and got overly dramatic. I questioned if he took his medicine and he said yes, I haven't counted the pills. I had him go to sleep, he was coughing pretty heavily (I had him setup the humidifier and he got some Robitussin). His moods were insane tonight after being gone for a few evenings, screaming at Sebastian, ignoring his little brother, playing roughly with him then getting upset when the consequences hit him in the face (Sebastian sitting on him etc).
For every action, there is a reaction. Sometimes, the way he treats Sebastian, Sebastian will give it back, then Nick gets hurt and it's a cycle...
Sometimes I don't know how to handle this. Everyone feels that Sebastian is ganging up on them, sometimes when he plays, this is HOW he plays.
Like, the other day I was speaking to Grandma. Sebastian likes to watch videos on YouTube right now, the volume will VARY from video to video, but she gets so upset with him... She thinks he turns it up on purpose. 99.9% of the time it's the VIDEO change itself, not a personal attack to Grandma.
I see a lot of the way Nick acts, is how his Grandmother acts. Her mouth, her reactions, her breakdowns. I don't know what to do about that either, if I say anything to her about the way she acts, I get a song and dance about how she was raised this way and she did this-this-this and this and didn't wait. Or, how she can't have anything and how she is unappreciated. It's dramatic and stressful.
Oh how I can't wait for the day that we can own our own home and build her an apartment in the basement or the garage or something. She cannot take care of herself alone, or she wouldn't be in the situation she is in. But, sometimes there needs to be a separation because of the kids, she is too much a part of the family without being part of the work.
Sebastian is doing okay. He had an okay weekend, pretty routine for him. Wanting more than he can ever get, requesting toys and things, which we say wait for Christmas and he gets upset. This kid is insane sometimes with these things, He wants Luigi, then the next day he wants Tails. I got him Luigi from Wal-Mart on Black Friday and he wanted Tails that day, he got upset and wanted me to go out to get Tails. What?!?!
Christmas dude, Christmas.
Today was an okay one. But, Sebastian was a bit moody and cocky there for a while. He is doing some voices that, the only way I can put them remind me of Stewart from SNL. The whispering part, when he talks? It's kind of cute, like apparently I guess the school has been teaching him to whisper and this is what we get, hehe.
He was just struggling a bit today, but I couldn't figure out WHY exactly. Until Nick got home, I was about to fall asleep and they both come barreling down the stairs and go for food. Seb is talking to Nick and Nick says something about Bastian missing a tooth! Of course I jump up all excited in fashion, yep he lost a tooth.
That explains why he wanted gum all day and why he was slightly cranky.
Bastian cannot express these things. With the first tooth, he knew it wiggled and he knew it was going to come out, but this time there was no verbal communication about another loose tooth. I am just going to periodically try and wiggle his teeth from now on and just figure it out on my own!
Friday, November 26, 2010
New updates!! Novembuuurrr 27th, 2010.
Wow, where to start. I have gotten a little behind, but with Black Friday I have been super busy, busy!
Nickolas:
Nickolas has been doing a little better now that he is back on the medication and has been more helpful. The backtalk and the tantrums are certainly still there, but he is improving a bit! Also, he had a doctors appointment on Novembuuurrr 12th with Dr. Wire.
Finally!! Finally they have started him on a second pill at 3 p.m. everyday, 5mg. So he gets 15mg in the morning, then 5mg at 3 p.m. This will take a few weeks before we see the difference, but hopefully this can help him a little more. We will all continue to work together to help him the best that we can!!
Sebastian:
Sebastian has been such a busy guy. He now goes to school half-days, started the beginning of this month. We pick him up at 11:45 everyday, that's after lunch. So straight from lunch to the office and to go home. This has mostly been working out pretty good, only a couple of issues recently. He doesn't like if you throw away his food, they need to ask him 3-4 times if he is SURE that he wants something thrown away...
I finally got to speak with Lori Schmitt (autism specialist for the EVSC) on Wednesday before we brought Sebastian home, she was joined with the Occupational therapist. They wanted to know what I used for his meltdowns, or how I can motivate him to otherwise do something that he doesn't feel like doing... However, at the time it slipped my mind what to tell her... I forgot to mention "2 choices" why this slipped my mind is certainly due to lack of sleep, but I will talk with Ms. Wolfe on Monday and relay the message. Grandma's suggestion was for him to have a Mario figure with him. He can focus on it and get back to work.
Lori also pointed out that Sebastian is super-duper smart, but he is just struggling of course to put that towards everything. It's all a learning process.
Her biggest thing though during this talk was that he does excel in things, that he is smart, she is QUICK to point out the sensory issues. The shaking of Sebastian's head, his arm movements and the rocking. How in Math class he knows all he has to do is scream and Mrs. Smith will let him sit in the rocking chair. It's a class of 21 other students, we are trying to curb THIS.
This brings me to the school Psychologist. (Which, might I add all of the paperwork is in for her to do the evaluation for Sebastian within the next 55 days, mind you!!) She still urks me, honestly. She makes it seem just like he is smart that he cannot be autistic. Or just because it is not her diagnosis YET... It's like this, "He is so smart" and "But "if" this is autism".
These comments urk me. All autistic children EXCEL at things, but struggle in different areas. They will/may always struggle in one place moreso than another, this is why so many children go without a diagnosis. Sebastian's autism is the sensory part, the speech area, but he DOES make up for it in his own forms of problem-solving.
I love this kid so much, Sebastian IS autistic, not because I like to say the words, I wish both of my children are average, but they are in-fact NOT. Nor will either of them ever be, but I can promise this, we will do the best that we can for them... And continue along our merry little ways....
Lastly, before I am off to bed, as it is super cold this evening...
Finally have seen some paperwork in the mail from SSI. I filed because, all of these appointments. Go here, go there, gas and upkeep on vehicles we are all over town 2-3 times a week and back n forth to school, not to mention the extra back n forth.
Anyway.
Got the paperwork today that they have scheduled an evaluation for Sebastian on December 6 @12:30 for a speech evaluation for SSI determination. Wonderful, finally. Let's get this ball ROLLING already. I am ready, bring it on!!
At the same time, evaluation... Evaluation... EVALUATION!! One is never enough, this one isn't as good as the next one, yadda... yadda.
If you wonder WHY this is happening..
Stacy, his therapist which we totally love, she is wonderful for everything she does and I thank her so much for coming into our lives!! Stacy can only give a medical diagnosis.
The school, this is a different diagnosis. Of course, it's ALL the same, but they need an educational diagnosis for academic purposes.
SSI, SSI needs to determine on their own, too many people take advantage of the system, period.
I understand all evaluations, but at the same time I want to shield him away from everything, all of this. I do stand by my decision to put him in public school, I think this is the best for him. He is a smart kid, he will excel in areas, and most of all... This gives him the interaction with other people. Me having panic disorder, I don't want him to build a shell and struggle to function in public, public is not always the best place for Sebastian on some of his days, but he does need the interaction and bonds with other people than JUST Mommy, Daddy, Nick and Grandma.
The world needs to experience my children, I cannot raise them alone... They sometimes need to learn for themselves and teach others too in the process, both of them are doing a wonderful job of this in their own wonderful little ways. We love our boys so super much and wouldn't have them any differently than the way they are!!
Nickolas:
Nickolas has been doing a little better now that he is back on the medication and has been more helpful. The backtalk and the tantrums are certainly still there, but he is improving a bit! Also, he had a doctors appointment on Novembuuurrr 12th with Dr. Wire.
Finally!! Finally they have started him on a second pill at 3 p.m. everyday, 5mg. So he gets 15mg in the morning, then 5mg at 3 p.m. This will take a few weeks before we see the difference, but hopefully this can help him a little more. We will all continue to work together to help him the best that we can!!
Sebastian:
Sebastian has been such a busy guy. He now goes to school half-days, started the beginning of this month. We pick him up at 11:45 everyday, that's after lunch. So straight from lunch to the office and to go home. This has mostly been working out pretty good, only a couple of issues recently. He doesn't like if you throw away his food, they need to ask him 3-4 times if he is SURE that he wants something thrown away...
I finally got to speak with Lori Schmitt (autism specialist for the EVSC) on Wednesday before we brought Sebastian home, she was joined with the Occupational therapist. They wanted to know what I used for his meltdowns, or how I can motivate him to otherwise do something that he doesn't feel like doing... However, at the time it slipped my mind what to tell her... I forgot to mention "2 choices" why this slipped my mind is certainly due to lack of sleep, but I will talk with Ms. Wolfe on Monday and relay the message. Grandma's suggestion was for him to have a Mario figure with him. He can focus on it and get back to work.
Lori also pointed out that Sebastian is super-duper smart, but he is just struggling of course to put that towards everything. It's all a learning process.
Her biggest thing though during this talk was that he does excel in things, that he is smart, she is QUICK to point out the sensory issues. The shaking of Sebastian's head, his arm movements and the rocking. How in Math class he knows all he has to do is scream and Mrs. Smith will let him sit in the rocking chair. It's a class of 21 other students, we are trying to curb THIS.
This brings me to the school Psychologist. (Which, might I add all of the paperwork is in for her to do the evaluation for Sebastian within the next 55 days, mind you!!) She still urks me, honestly. She makes it seem just like he is smart that he cannot be autistic. Or just because it is not her diagnosis YET... It's like this, "He is so smart" and "But "if" this is autism".
These comments urk me. All autistic children EXCEL at things, but struggle in different areas. They will/may always struggle in one place moreso than another, this is why so many children go without a diagnosis. Sebastian's autism is the sensory part, the speech area, but he DOES make up for it in his own forms of problem-solving.
I love this kid so much, Sebastian IS autistic, not because I like to say the words, I wish both of my children are average, but they are in-fact NOT. Nor will either of them ever be, but I can promise this, we will do the best that we can for them... And continue along our merry little ways....
Lastly, before I am off to bed, as it is super cold this evening...
Finally have seen some paperwork in the mail from SSI. I filed because, all of these appointments. Go here, go there, gas and upkeep on vehicles we are all over town 2-3 times a week and back n forth to school, not to mention the extra back n forth.
Anyway.
Got the paperwork today that they have scheduled an evaluation for Sebastian on December 6 @12:30 for a speech evaluation for SSI determination. Wonderful, finally. Let's get this ball ROLLING already. I am ready, bring it on!!
At the same time, evaluation... Evaluation... EVALUATION!! One is never enough, this one isn't as good as the next one, yadda... yadda.
If you wonder WHY this is happening..
Stacy, his therapist which we totally love, she is wonderful for everything she does and I thank her so much for coming into our lives!! Stacy can only give a medical diagnosis.
The school, this is a different diagnosis. Of course, it's ALL the same, but they need an educational diagnosis for academic purposes.
SSI, SSI needs to determine on their own, too many people take advantage of the system, period.
I understand all evaluations, but at the same time I want to shield him away from everything, all of this. I do stand by my decision to put him in public school, I think this is the best for him. He is a smart kid, he will excel in areas, and most of all... This gives him the interaction with other people. Me having panic disorder, I don't want him to build a shell and struggle to function in public, public is not always the best place for Sebastian on some of his days, but he does need the interaction and bonds with other people than JUST Mommy, Daddy, Nick and Grandma.
The world needs to experience my children, I cannot raise them alone... They sometimes need to learn for themselves and teach others too in the process, both of them are doing a wonderful job of this in their own wonderful little ways. We love our boys so super much and wouldn't have them any differently than the way they are!!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sebastian: Case Conference 11/4/2010.
I never expected the Case Conference to last anywhere near this long, but it ended up lasting us an entire 1 hour and 30 minutes. By the time it ended, we brought the kids home from school and got out of there within 20 minutes of dismissal!
The case conference got started a little late, getting a group of 9-12 people together is actually rather complicated! The only people who did not show was the Autism specialist (which I wish would have for many reasons...) The Principal (who has a stand-in) and Mrs. Lorenzen (his homeroom and first period teacher).
Much of the discussion is what we already know, his behavior, how he is such a delight to have and any of the issues in class, such as: Trying to leave the classroom, trying to fall asleep on the floor during an activity, meltdowns due to noises and requesting to go to the office instead of staying in class (this is connected to just leaving the class).
Everyone had many positive things to say, the only way that this was put in a bad way was by the Psychologist. Many people sat in with Sebastian this week for input for the case conference and from here on out, the Psychologist I will call her by name. Her name is Gunny.
Gunny has a thick German accent by the way, she was positive at times, but mostly rubbed me the wrong way, with quotes like "If I diagnose a child with Autism, it is very rarely. This is not something we just throw out on a occasional basis." Which, only makes me want to slap her, she works off of Stacy's evaluation that states: With continued care, Sebastian may improve with Speech therapy and Behavioral therapy." Great, he is still autistic and yes, we do need a second confirmation, simply so Mrs. Wolfe (Special Education teacher) can better work with Sebastian legally.
Mrs. Wolfe was wonderful, as was the Speech therapist, they have both taken me under their wing, I also liked the Occupational Therapist, but she didn't talk nearly as much. Much thanks to Mrs. Smith (Math teacher) for sitting there for 80% of the meeting, and after she left, Mrs. Crane (Writing teacher) who has just came back from Maternity leave, this poor woman has been through a lot with him, but she is so happy to have him. Routine was changed with her, his favorite teacher was taken out when she returned and he is having a lot of trouble adjusting, she is also the teacher he has after lunch when he runs out of the room, tries to fall asleep and everything else, I thank her so much for all of her input in such a small period of time.
Mrs. Wolfe and the Speech therapist seen that I was unhappy with Gunny's comments, they are going to fight with us if need be about diagnosis, apparently they have had many problems with her before and will not let her bully anyone, even me. Many moments of laughter were shared, positively at some of the things Sebastian does, and a few minutes of "Awe" at some of the progress he has made.
Basically, they are setting everything up for having an autistic child.
Visual cues in the classroom.
One word questions.
Shorten length of days (temporary).
Speech therapy: 4 days a week in the morning during school
Occupational therapy: As needed
Additionally:
Ms. Blake, who is Mrs. Lorenzen's classroom assistant has agreed to be trained to instead, assist Sebastian throughout the day, going to all of his classes and everything else, she has been doing this, but she needs to be certified to stay with HIM.
Mrs. Kuhn, (the Principal) has called a Mandatory meeting of all the teachers, for a seminar on autism since it is in the school, to educate all of the other teachers.
School evaluation: by Gunny within 50 days to return for another Case Conference (Dec 29)
This is just the beginning. May add more later, but very tired this evening.
The case conference got started a little late, getting a group of 9-12 people together is actually rather complicated! The only people who did not show was the Autism specialist (which I wish would have for many reasons...) The Principal (who has a stand-in) and Mrs. Lorenzen (his homeroom and first period teacher).
Much of the discussion is what we already know, his behavior, how he is such a delight to have and any of the issues in class, such as: Trying to leave the classroom, trying to fall asleep on the floor during an activity, meltdowns due to noises and requesting to go to the office instead of staying in class (this is connected to just leaving the class).
Everyone had many positive things to say, the only way that this was put in a bad way was by the Psychologist. Many people sat in with Sebastian this week for input for the case conference and from here on out, the Psychologist I will call her by name. Her name is Gunny.
Gunny has a thick German accent by the way, she was positive at times, but mostly rubbed me the wrong way, with quotes like "If I diagnose a child with Autism, it is very rarely. This is not something we just throw out on a occasional basis." Which, only makes me want to slap her, she works off of Stacy's evaluation that states: With continued care, Sebastian may improve with Speech therapy and Behavioral therapy." Great, he is still autistic and yes, we do need a second confirmation, simply so Mrs. Wolfe (Special Education teacher) can better work with Sebastian legally.
Mrs. Wolfe was wonderful, as was the Speech therapist, they have both taken me under their wing, I also liked the Occupational Therapist, but she didn't talk nearly as much. Much thanks to Mrs. Smith (Math teacher) for sitting there for 80% of the meeting, and after she left, Mrs. Crane (Writing teacher) who has just came back from Maternity leave, this poor woman has been through a lot with him, but she is so happy to have him. Routine was changed with her, his favorite teacher was taken out when she returned and he is having a lot of trouble adjusting, she is also the teacher he has after lunch when he runs out of the room, tries to fall asleep and everything else, I thank her so much for all of her input in such a small period of time.
Mrs. Wolfe and the Speech therapist seen that I was unhappy with Gunny's comments, they are going to fight with us if need be about diagnosis, apparently they have had many problems with her before and will not let her bully anyone, even me. Many moments of laughter were shared, positively at some of the things Sebastian does, and a few minutes of "Awe" at some of the progress he has made.
Basically, they are setting everything up for having an autistic child.
Visual cues in the classroom.
One word questions.
Shorten length of days (temporary).
Speech therapy: 4 days a week in the morning during school
Occupational therapy: As needed
Additionally:
Ms. Blake, who is Mrs. Lorenzen's classroom assistant has agreed to be trained to instead, assist Sebastian throughout the day, going to all of his classes and everything else, she has been doing this, but she needs to be certified to stay with HIM.
Mrs. Kuhn, (the Principal) has called a Mandatory meeting of all the teachers, for a seminar on autism since it is in the school, to educate all of the other teachers.
School evaluation: by Gunny within 50 days to return for another Case Conference (Dec 29)
This is just the beginning. May add more later, but very tired this evening.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Progress made, November 2, 2010.
Time for an update, I know it's been a very long time since I have really posted anything here. To anyone checking in, I am sorry. To my few (1?) follower, you truly understand how complicated this is. I have more than one blog, this is the only one for this reason and of course this is important, but I usually keep everything I need for this stuff in my folders or fresh on my mind.
But, this isn't about excuses, this is about updates!
Nickolas
Nickolas is doing, okay. He has been grounded now for about a month after I found out he had been lying to me about his medication. Nick now attends Sebastian's appointments specifically for the "special playtime" part. He gets 10 minutes, Sebastian gets 5 minutes of it and he totally eats it up, since what he wants is attention, constant attention. But, it's nice to see him happy and smiling.
We have still been struggling pretty hard with mood adjustments, not calming down and going to his room which is his place to calm down. He often gets overwhelmed pretty easily when it comes to something he doesn't want to hear or do, which often ends in an outburst, tears, screaming and throwing/kicking of things. The boys have a nice hole in their wall, which needs to still be patched up...
He is noticing the difference his medication makes for him, but admits that about the time he comes home, he notices it tapering off and it becomes harder to control these emotions. I need to speak to Beth (his therapist) about this, he has an appointment on Friday at 11 a.m. with her.
I am happy too, to report that Nickolas despite not being on his medication made A Honor roll once again. This is amazing, I knew he could do it he is a VERY smart kid, through and through and I see nothing but good things for him ahead!
We just wish that he could take everything he learns in therapy and use it during the times (and constantly) towards his behaviors. He is too emotional and too easily agitated by things other children would take in stride, granted he is the older brother of a child with special needs, but he has to learn at 10 years old (almost 11) that he needs to come into himself too. He is dealing with other kids picking on him at school, but this has died down now that they know they cannot excite him in this way to get him mostly in trouble, but he had always struggled at home, and his biggest thing although not mentioned previously in this post is yelling at adults. This of course is not acceptable, but sometimes he makes his own rules. He does not need to disciple his brother, which he TRIES to do, this is not his job, but it's kind of what I call an "mini-adult complex" which, he is nothing of the sort and needs to learn this, now.
Sebastian
Sebastian has been struggling recently. Mostly the school has been having problems containing him, but I have not heard anything about him escaping through the front doors of the school, within the past 2 weeks. I am hearing mostly that after lunch, he is done with the day and ends up in the Principal's office, she doesn't mind she says he usually ends up curling himself in a ball and going to sleep he LIKES the OFFICE...
This I can understand, after 3-4 hours of school to an autistic child, this is very overwhelming and very, very hard to concentrate. The office is a lot slower paced than a classroom full of 23 other students, he is getting overwhelmed and shuts down as any autistic child does, this is a given and something all parents with an autistic child deals with, daily.
He also has had a few incidents of pulling his pants down in class, this I don't know what THAT is. He does not see this at home, nor does he see it in anything he watches, this may just be one of those random things we cannot explain.
Tomorrow is Sebastian's therapy, which I will discuss these things with Stacy (Sebastian's therapist) and figure out what else we can do for him while at school, we are hoping to maybe get a Teacher's assistant, who is specifically there for Sebastian and no one else.
After the therapist is Sebastian's case conference. We have been waiting for this since the first week of school, to determine what is best for him. According to the paperwork that I have, it seems as if they are going to discuss putting him in for half days, giving him both speech and occupational therapies at the school and it says "other eval" which is beyond me. I hope they do not mean another evaluation for autism spectrum disorders, we just did this in March and found out 100% in May that Sebastian is autistic.
I will not let them force me to do anything, I am walking in there with Sebastian's best interests in mind, no one will sway me from this. what works for HIM and what's best for HIM, not what's best for the SCHOOL. Half days, I do agree with and is something that is doable. The speech and occupational therapies, awesome they are done at the school and I don't have to worry about Medicaid being cut off and something out of mine (or even Sebastian's) control. Another evaluation, there is no NEED for this, this is likely something they WANT. I asked Ms. Wolfe (SpeEd teacher) about this, she says that people like Stacy can only do a "partial" test and not a State specified test. Well, wouldn't you think if he qualifies under a "partial" test that the "full" test isn't going to show anything different?
Anyway, this guy is busy and I promise as I have always promised, to keep what's best for him in reach. I am excited to see that there will be an autism specialist on hand at the meeting as-well as the speech and occupational therapists! What I don't like is that the counselor is going to be there. I don't trust this guy, personally. He is stuffy and doesn't understand what autism is in a 5 year old (now 6). Letting him run down the hall to a class or not understanding why he MISSES days or is LATE TO CLASS 98% of the time, seriously? Pull out your book, refresh your courses because in your position your guidelines are always changing... I think it's about time, I will educate them all if I must!
Half days, will also cover my bum for people like this counselor, who think it's just me fiddle-farting around. I invite anyone to come, tomorrow morning and get Sebastian to school before 7:50 in the morning. Care to take me on!?!?
But, this isn't about excuses, this is about updates!
Nickolas
Nickolas is doing, okay. He has been grounded now for about a month after I found out he had been lying to me about his medication. Nick now attends Sebastian's appointments specifically for the "special playtime" part. He gets 10 minutes, Sebastian gets 5 minutes of it and he totally eats it up, since what he wants is attention, constant attention. But, it's nice to see him happy and smiling.
We have still been struggling pretty hard with mood adjustments, not calming down and going to his room which is his place to calm down. He often gets overwhelmed pretty easily when it comes to something he doesn't want to hear or do, which often ends in an outburst, tears, screaming and throwing/kicking of things. The boys have a nice hole in their wall, which needs to still be patched up...
He is noticing the difference his medication makes for him, but admits that about the time he comes home, he notices it tapering off and it becomes harder to control these emotions. I need to speak to Beth (his therapist) about this, he has an appointment on Friday at 11 a.m. with her.
I am happy too, to report that Nickolas despite not being on his medication made A Honor roll once again. This is amazing, I knew he could do it he is a VERY smart kid, through and through and I see nothing but good things for him ahead!
We just wish that he could take everything he learns in therapy and use it during the times (and constantly) towards his behaviors. He is too emotional and too easily agitated by things other children would take in stride, granted he is the older brother of a child with special needs, but he has to learn at 10 years old (almost 11) that he needs to come into himself too. He is dealing with other kids picking on him at school, but this has died down now that they know they cannot excite him in this way to get him mostly in trouble, but he had always struggled at home, and his biggest thing although not mentioned previously in this post is yelling at adults. This of course is not acceptable, but sometimes he makes his own rules. He does not need to disciple his brother, which he TRIES to do, this is not his job, but it's kind of what I call an "mini-adult complex" which, he is nothing of the sort and needs to learn this, now.
Sebastian
Sebastian has been struggling recently. Mostly the school has been having problems containing him, but I have not heard anything about him escaping through the front doors of the school, within the past 2 weeks. I am hearing mostly that after lunch, he is done with the day and ends up in the Principal's office, she doesn't mind she says he usually ends up curling himself in a ball and going to sleep he LIKES the OFFICE...
This I can understand, after 3-4 hours of school to an autistic child, this is very overwhelming and very, very hard to concentrate. The office is a lot slower paced than a classroom full of 23 other students, he is getting overwhelmed and shuts down as any autistic child does, this is a given and something all parents with an autistic child deals with, daily.
He also has had a few incidents of pulling his pants down in class, this I don't know what THAT is. He does not see this at home, nor does he see it in anything he watches, this may just be one of those random things we cannot explain.
Tomorrow is Sebastian's therapy, which I will discuss these things with Stacy (Sebastian's therapist) and figure out what else we can do for him while at school, we are hoping to maybe get a Teacher's assistant, who is specifically there for Sebastian and no one else.
After the therapist is Sebastian's case conference. We have been waiting for this since the first week of school, to determine what is best for him. According to the paperwork that I have, it seems as if they are going to discuss putting him in for half days, giving him both speech and occupational therapies at the school and it says "other eval" which is beyond me. I hope they do not mean another evaluation for autism spectrum disorders, we just did this in March and found out 100% in May that Sebastian is autistic.
I will not let them force me to do anything, I am walking in there with Sebastian's best interests in mind, no one will sway me from this. what works for HIM and what's best for HIM, not what's best for the SCHOOL. Half days, I do agree with and is something that is doable. The speech and occupational therapies, awesome they are done at the school and I don't have to worry about Medicaid being cut off and something out of mine (or even Sebastian's) control. Another evaluation, there is no NEED for this, this is likely something they WANT. I asked Ms. Wolfe (SpeEd teacher) about this, she says that people like Stacy can only do a "partial" test and not a State specified test. Well, wouldn't you think if he qualifies under a "partial" test that the "full" test isn't going to show anything different?
Anyway, this guy is busy and I promise as I have always promised, to keep what's best for him in reach. I am excited to see that there will be an autism specialist on hand at the meeting as-well as the speech and occupational therapists! What I don't like is that the counselor is going to be there. I don't trust this guy, personally. He is stuffy and doesn't understand what autism is in a 5 year old (now 6). Letting him run down the hall to a class or not understanding why he MISSES days or is LATE TO CLASS 98% of the time, seriously? Pull out your book, refresh your courses because in your position your guidelines are always changing... I think it's about time, I will educate them all if I must!
Half days, will also cover my bum for people like this counselor, who think it's just me fiddle-farting around. I invite anyone to come, tomorrow morning and get Sebastian to school before 7:50 in the morning. Care to take me on!?!?
Friday, October 29, 2010
Questions (this will later be REMOVED)
1. Describe the child's daily activities. Start from the time the child wakes up and describe a typical day until he/she goes to bed.
Waking up Sebastian is the morning is very tough, as he just started school this has been a large struggle to get him motivated to go to school. After he wakes up, I make sure he gets to the bathroom, then it is time to get him dressed for school, all dressing is done by me (his mother). After dressing him, we try to get him to eat something quick like a poptart and drink something, a orange drink. After this takes place, he gets his teeth brushed (by his mother).
Sebastian is drove to school everyday and walked to his classroom. At school he is in a normal classroom and according to the school, struggling daily with following the rules and doing what other children do. He is always at the front of the line so they can pay close attention to him, and he always has school issued headphones that help him cope with the loud noises that he is sensitive too. Often he ends up in the principals office because he is overwhelmed by the days events. Some days he lasts all day, other days the school calls me early to pick him up.
Sebastian and his brother are picked up from school, and he has his routine. He comes home from school and plays on the computer. He is able with help from his mother or brother to go to a website to watch videos of 'Mario'. His evening persists of spending time by himself or occasionally with his family. His speech is still very limited and repetitively sticks to certain foods, toys and routines of things he specifically enjoys.
Sebastian struggles with things like showers every evening, not everyday does he get a shower as he does not like water poured over his head. He is asked, but usually he is reluctant. Sebastian cannot handle most of his grooming. He can go to the bathroom by himself, but must be helped if anything other than peeing alone. He cannot brush himself or bathe himself, he needs help dressing and usually is a chore left up to family members, mostly his mother.
Routine is key, if routine is changed it often leads to a meltdown.
2. What does the child do when he/she is not in school? How long and how often does he/she do things?
Sebastian often keeps to himself, he has an older brother that wants to play with him, but usually Sebastian is happier playing by himself with his favorite toys, playing a game on the Wii by himself or watching videos on his current favorite things (cartoons, games, etc.). These tasks alone can persist for minutes to hours, very rarely does he want to participate in something such as watching a movie together or other things where he is with other members of the family.
3.Is the child expected to help with household chores? If yes, what are the chores, how often are they done, and how well are they done? How much supervision does the child require?
In short, no. He is not regularly asked to help in daily chores. He is occasionally asked to help pick-up his toys that are spread throughout a room, this depends greatly upon what mood he is in, which can differ from day to day. One day he will help on the days when he is not struggling with frustrated moods or being sucked into something resembling tunnel vision. Other days, he tunes his whole world, out and will not help with small tasks.
4. Describe the child's friends and playmates: their ages, activities, how often and how long they play together.
Sebastian has few friends outside of school, we have family friends who visit and Sebastian will play for a few minutes if at all and it is simultaneous play, not interactive play, but when they visit he would rather watch TV by himself in another room or be where the adults are. He is very excited to know they are coming over or showing up, but then when they visit, he plays by himself and no one rushes him to do anything, but they do gently try to persuade him to join in the fun.
5. How well does the child behave with adults (parents, other family members, teachers, neighbors? Please give examples:
This depends, greatly upon moods. One day interaction is minimal or very guarded, others can range from accepting until he becomes overwhelmed, or straight refusal.
If told to do something, he usually will not listen to many other adults beyond me (his mother) sometimes he will not listen to me. Sometimes I have to intervene in other people trying to get him to do something, such as his Grandmother or his brother and his interaction.
Teacher example: Today, he was picked up from school. He had a wonderful morning and arrived to school on time, but when I spoke with the teacher today. She relayed that he had a rough day, running around the classroom while the other students sat on the floor during a story reading and continued to run around the room, at one point pulling his pants down in class. Also, during lunch he kept getting up from his table and going to his brothers table to visit him.
Friend example: Due to routine, he likes to control things other people do. If they do not understand him or comply, he will get pretty upset and will metldown until someone can understand what he is saying or trying to do.
Parent example: Often times, as stated above, when Sebastian is misunderstood or told to do something he doesn't want to do or something is misunderstood, this becomes a safety issue. I speak for myself for not understanding something and being caught in a meltdown more than a few times, this results in throwing of items. Sometimes at me, sometimes in general, but I have been hit in the face a couple of times with items that result in a busted lip or a bruise here or there.
6. How many other children live with this child? What are their ages? Describe how the child reacts with them:
Sebastian has a older brother, Nickolas who is 10 years old. Day to day, this relationship struggles, his brother has ADHD and this is the opposite of what Sebastian can handle. Many times Nick wants to spend time with Sebastian and this ends up in a meltdown on Sebastian's part, throwing, screaming, crying and an occasional injury on big brothers part. Communication between them is very strained, some days are better than others. Often if they do play together, this does not last very long, 15 minutes give or take.
7. Is the child able to care for personal needs (bathing,dressing, toileting, toothbrushing, hair brushing, etc.)? Are there any special problems in this regard?
No, Sebastian cannot handle these tasks on his own. He can go pee by himself, but needs assistance in wiping himself after a BM. He on a rare occasion will help to dress himself, but this is very minimal if at all. His teeth are brushed by his mother as is his hair, his hair is a complicated thing. His hair must be cut at home, twice I tried to take him to a place to do this and it was very stressful for him, wiggling, screaming, crying, trying to escape, this became a safety issue on his and others parts, I opt to do this myself. This is still a struggle for me to do at home, but it's much safer and tolerable every 3 or so months. The same goes for things as grooming his nails, he will not let me do this while he is awake, this is something I must do while he is sleeping. Brushing his hair is a struggle in the morning, and bathing is a struggle. Sebastian does not like cold water, or hot water it must be the right temperature. He is still struggling to wash his hair, this is often when he wants to get out of the bathtub, we use a tear-free shampoo, but when the water hits his face, he freaks out and cannot take this and does not understand the concept of laying down in the tub and washing out the shampoo, you must always dump water on his head, calmly talk to him and give him a towel to dry off his face. Usually after one of those, this gets worse and is more of a struggle to get any shampoo out of his hair.
8. Describe fully any "problem" behaviors (for example: serious fighting, stealing, bedwetting, withdrawl from others, etc.) and describe how frequently these behaviors occur.
Withdrawl from others: Sebastian would much rather play alone than interact with others in public or at home often times. Sebastian has minimal communication, many adults struggle with understanding his speech and behaviors/interactions.
Throwing: During a meltdown, this is a danger to anyone in throwing distance, for example. All family members have been hurt with items in the heat of a meltdown, he does too hit his brother when he is frustrated.
Meltdowns: Often he is easily overwhelmed by situations and meltdowns are a way of "coping" with everything that is going on around him. This happens rather often, but depends greatly on what is going on and if communication is strained.
Repetitive behaviors: His cartoons, his foods, his routine. Straying from any of this is a real struggle.
Noises: He is very sensitive to noises, during an outing even family related. To Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party, or the 4-H fair for family fun, he will often cover his ears because these type of things are too loud for him, recently we have implemented headphones since we seen how much this helps him at school, it works to make him feel a little more comfortable and able to enjoy some outings a little more, but he gets bored easily and still shuts down.
Running: This is a safety issue, at school and under family care he is known to run. Our home now has a special lock on the door where he cannot escape in the day or night without our knowledge as it has happened a couple of times before installing this device. In public, he does not realize the dangers of trying to run from an adult, whether it be down a hallway to something or in a parking lot walking back to a vehicle, it's always a type of "race" where you have to quickly catch him. If we go out, we hold his hand/wrist, he is trying to be independent, but does not understand the dangers of say, the parking lot.
9. If the child is in school, preschool or daycare, does the child miss days? How often and why?
Yes, Sebastian is in Kindergarten at Cedar Hall School, he was enrolled, but was a week late starting while I communicated with the school Social Worker, Ms. King. We was trying to figure out if he should attend a regular Kindergarten classroom or if a more specialized classroom setting would be better for him. He has been late, most days this year because of the morning struggle to get him going, additionally I refuse to send him to school on his more complicated mornings where meltdowns are normal (these have been fewer recently) or if he is sick, he stays sick for a while due to refusal to take medications, even forced. He also has therapy, on what I plan to keep to every Thursday, he will be taken out in the early afternoon and will not return because it is too complicated to get him to return to school, then is counted absent for taking him out at 11 a.m. for an 12:30 p.m. appointment (I must supply his lunch on these days) the appointment ends at 1:30 p.m. and by the time we arrive home, it is 2 p.m. and school lets out at 2:40 p.m.
The school is in the works of setting up a better schedule for him, we are unsure if this is half day or trying to get a teacher's assistant that just works with Sebastian in the classroom. This should take place sometime this week or next week.
10. When speaking, can the child be understood by family? Friends? Strangers? If the child cannot communicate his or her needs by speaking, how well can he or she express needs with hand gestures and/or sounds?
Sebastian does not have the vocabulary of a normal 6 year old, he functions much lower maybe 3 1/2 or a 4 year old. Many words are still slurred and often times, I am asked what he says, sometimes even I cannot understand it. He will try to communicate by showing you or if you ask him to show you, sometimes we still cannot understand what he is wanting. He has made some things his own, such as "orange drinky" which means he wants a glass of the only thing he will drink, which is orange in color.
11. Describe anything else that you feel might be important or helpful for us to know.
Sebastian is in therapy for PDD-NOS to high-functioning autism. Anything that we do is from the PCIT (Parent-Child interaction therapy) and is an on-going thing. Many of his behaviors remain the same. Sebastian's care at this point and time is almost like a full-time job, between monitoring his moods, dealing with the sensory issues, his interaction with others, and making it to and from appointments and this is very difficult emotionally for the family at times. He is a very special child with issues that take a lot of time and patience at this current time. We love our son/brother with all our heart and cherish him as he has blessed us and helped us to better understand what the autism spectrum is and have blessed us with such a wonderful person to get to know.
Waking up Sebastian is the morning is very tough, as he just started school this has been a large struggle to get him motivated to go to school. After he wakes up, I make sure he gets to the bathroom, then it is time to get him dressed for school, all dressing is done by me (his mother). After dressing him, we try to get him to eat something quick like a poptart and drink something, a orange drink. After this takes place, he gets his teeth brushed (by his mother).
Sebastian is drove to school everyday and walked to his classroom. At school he is in a normal classroom and according to the school, struggling daily with following the rules and doing what other children do. He is always at the front of the line so they can pay close attention to him, and he always has school issued headphones that help him cope with the loud noises that he is sensitive too. Often he ends up in the principals office because he is overwhelmed by the days events. Some days he lasts all day, other days the school calls me early to pick him up.
Sebastian and his brother are picked up from school, and he has his routine. He comes home from school and plays on the computer. He is able with help from his mother or brother to go to a website to watch videos of 'Mario'. His evening persists of spending time by himself or occasionally with his family. His speech is still very limited and repetitively sticks to certain foods, toys and routines of things he specifically enjoys.
Sebastian struggles with things like showers every evening, not everyday does he get a shower as he does not like water poured over his head. He is asked, but usually he is reluctant. Sebastian cannot handle most of his grooming. He can go to the bathroom by himself, but must be helped if anything other than peeing alone. He cannot brush himself or bathe himself, he needs help dressing and usually is a chore left up to family members, mostly his mother.
Routine is key, if routine is changed it often leads to a meltdown.
2. What does the child do when he/she is not in school? How long and how often does he/she do things?
Sebastian often keeps to himself, he has an older brother that wants to play with him, but usually Sebastian is happier playing by himself with his favorite toys, playing a game on the Wii by himself or watching videos on his current favorite things (cartoons, games, etc.). These tasks alone can persist for minutes to hours, very rarely does he want to participate in something such as watching a movie together or other things where he is with other members of the family.
3.Is the child expected to help with household chores? If yes, what are the chores, how often are they done, and how well are they done? How much supervision does the child require?
In short, no. He is not regularly asked to help in daily chores. He is occasionally asked to help pick-up his toys that are spread throughout a room, this depends greatly upon what mood he is in, which can differ from day to day. One day he will help on the days when he is not struggling with frustrated moods or being sucked into something resembling tunnel vision. Other days, he tunes his whole world, out and will not help with small tasks.
4. Describe the child's friends and playmates: their ages, activities, how often and how long they play together.
Sebastian has few friends outside of school, we have family friends who visit and Sebastian will play for a few minutes if at all and it is simultaneous play, not interactive play, but when they visit he would rather watch TV by himself in another room or be where the adults are. He is very excited to know they are coming over or showing up, but then when they visit, he plays by himself and no one rushes him to do anything, but they do gently try to persuade him to join in the fun.
5. How well does the child behave with adults (parents, other family members, teachers, neighbors? Please give examples:
This depends, greatly upon moods. One day interaction is minimal or very guarded, others can range from accepting until he becomes overwhelmed, or straight refusal.
If told to do something, he usually will not listen to many other adults beyond me (his mother) sometimes he will not listen to me. Sometimes I have to intervene in other people trying to get him to do something, such as his Grandmother or his brother and his interaction.
Teacher example: Today, he was picked up from school. He had a wonderful morning and arrived to school on time, but when I spoke with the teacher today. She relayed that he had a rough day, running around the classroom while the other students sat on the floor during a story reading and continued to run around the room, at one point pulling his pants down in class. Also, during lunch he kept getting up from his table and going to his brothers table to visit him.
Friend example: Due to routine, he likes to control things other people do. If they do not understand him or comply, he will get pretty upset and will metldown until someone can understand what he is saying or trying to do.
Parent example: Often times, as stated above, when Sebastian is misunderstood or told to do something he doesn't want to do or something is misunderstood, this becomes a safety issue. I speak for myself for not understanding something and being caught in a meltdown more than a few times, this results in throwing of items. Sometimes at me, sometimes in general, but I have been hit in the face a couple of times with items that result in a busted lip or a bruise here or there.
6. How many other children live with this child? What are their ages? Describe how the child reacts with them:
Sebastian has a older brother, Nickolas who is 10 years old. Day to day, this relationship struggles, his brother has ADHD and this is the opposite of what Sebastian can handle. Many times Nick wants to spend time with Sebastian and this ends up in a meltdown on Sebastian's part, throwing, screaming, crying and an occasional injury on big brothers part. Communication between them is very strained, some days are better than others. Often if they do play together, this does not last very long, 15 minutes give or take.
7. Is the child able to care for personal needs (bathing,dressing, toileting, toothbrushing, hair brushing, etc.)? Are there any special problems in this regard?
No, Sebastian cannot handle these tasks on his own. He can go pee by himself, but needs assistance in wiping himself after a BM. He on a rare occasion will help to dress himself, but this is very minimal if at all. His teeth are brushed by his mother as is his hair, his hair is a complicated thing. His hair must be cut at home, twice I tried to take him to a place to do this and it was very stressful for him, wiggling, screaming, crying, trying to escape, this became a safety issue on his and others parts, I opt to do this myself. This is still a struggle for me to do at home, but it's much safer and tolerable every 3 or so months. The same goes for things as grooming his nails, he will not let me do this while he is awake, this is something I must do while he is sleeping. Brushing his hair is a struggle in the morning, and bathing is a struggle. Sebastian does not like cold water, or hot water it must be the right temperature. He is still struggling to wash his hair, this is often when he wants to get out of the bathtub, we use a tear-free shampoo, but when the water hits his face, he freaks out and cannot take this and does not understand the concept of laying down in the tub and washing out the shampoo, you must always dump water on his head, calmly talk to him and give him a towel to dry off his face. Usually after one of those, this gets worse and is more of a struggle to get any shampoo out of his hair.
8. Describe fully any "problem" behaviors (for example: serious fighting, stealing, bedwetting, withdrawl from others, etc.) and describe how frequently these behaviors occur.
Withdrawl from others: Sebastian would much rather play alone than interact with others in public or at home often times. Sebastian has minimal communication, many adults struggle with understanding his speech and behaviors/interactions.
Throwing: During a meltdown, this is a danger to anyone in throwing distance, for example. All family members have been hurt with items in the heat of a meltdown, he does too hit his brother when he is frustrated.
Meltdowns: Often he is easily overwhelmed by situations and meltdowns are a way of "coping" with everything that is going on around him. This happens rather often, but depends greatly on what is going on and if communication is strained.
Repetitive behaviors: His cartoons, his foods, his routine. Straying from any of this is a real struggle.
Noises: He is very sensitive to noises, during an outing even family related. To Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party, or the 4-H fair for family fun, he will often cover his ears because these type of things are too loud for him, recently we have implemented headphones since we seen how much this helps him at school, it works to make him feel a little more comfortable and able to enjoy some outings a little more, but he gets bored easily and still shuts down.
Running: This is a safety issue, at school and under family care he is known to run. Our home now has a special lock on the door where he cannot escape in the day or night without our knowledge as it has happened a couple of times before installing this device. In public, he does not realize the dangers of trying to run from an adult, whether it be down a hallway to something or in a parking lot walking back to a vehicle, it's always a type of "race" where you have to quickly catch him. If we go out, we hold his hand/wrist, he is trying to be independent, but does not understand the dangers of say, the parking lot.
9. If the child is in school, preschool or daycare, does the child miss days? How often and why?
Yes, Sebastian is in Kindergarten at Cedar Hall School, he was enrolled, but was a week late starting while I communicated with the school Social Worker, Ms. King. We was trying to figure out if he should attend a regular Kindergarten classroom or if a more specialized classroom setting would be better for him. He has been late, most days this year because of the morning struggle to get him going, additionally I refuse to send him to school on his more complicated mornings where meltdowns are normal (these have been fewer recently) or if he is sick, he stays sick for a while due to refusal to take medications, even forced. He also has therapy, on what I plan to keep to every Thursday, he will be taken out in the early afternoon and will not return because it is too complicated to get him to return to school, then is counted absent for taking him out at 11 a.m. for an 12:30 p.m. appointment (I must supply his lunch on these days) the appointment ends at 1:30 p.m. and by the time we arrive home, it is 2 p.m. and school lets out at 2:40 p.m.
The school is in the works of setting up a better schedule for him, we are unsure if this is half day or trying to get a teacher's assistant that just works with Sebastian in the classroom. This should take place sometime this week or next week.
10. When speaking, can the child be understood by family? Friends? Strangers? If the child cannot communicate his or her needs by speaking, how well can he or she express needs with hand gestures and/or sounds?
Sebastian does not have the vocabulary of a normal 6 year old, he functions much lower maybe 3 1/2 or a 4 year old. Many words are still slurred and often times, I am asked what he says, sometimes even I cannot understand it. He will try to communicate by showing you or if you ask him to show you, sometimes we still cannot understand what he is wanting. He has made some things his own, such as "orange drinky" which means he wants a glass of the only thing he will drink, which is orange in color.
11. Describe anything else that you feel might be important or helpful for us to know.
Sebastian is in therapy for PDD-NOS to high-functioning autism. Anything that we do is from the PCIT (Parent-Child interaction therapy) and is an on-going thing. Many of his behaviors remain the same. Sebastian's care at this point and time is almost like a full-time job, between monitoring his moods, dealing with the sensory issues, his interaction with others, and making it to and from appointments and this is very difficult emotionally for the family at times. He is a very special child with issues that take a lot of time and patience at this current time. We love our son/brother with all our heart and cherish him as he has blessed us and helped us to better understand what the autism spectrum is and have blessed us with such a wonderful person to get to know.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Frustration.
Nickolas
Nickolas has been struggling a lot lately. I think lines are getting blurred at his appointments with his therapist, Beth. I am not sure of what she tells him to do. The standard "count to 10" or "punch a pillow" or whatever, but the thing she does suggest to him is, to take time to calm down. Of course, he has been using this to HIS advantage.
If he doesn't want to do something, he uses this excuse. He needs forever to calm down and he is not above screaming in my face at me about how he needs his time or assuming that just because he is 10 years old he knows everything and he is "grown".
For Example: Today he was helping Travis clean the yard. He needs to learn responsibilities. I went out there from handling things indoors, indoors is my thing, but I do help outdoors, just not today. Anyway, I told him that helping Daddy clean the yard builds character and helps him become a man. His response? "I am a man."
Not even close.
His frustrations and outbursts recently have been very hard to handle. They are so frequent that they often blur into each other. He will get out of one episode and have another episode 2 minutes later when I am trying to discuss with him what is needed of him.
Obviously this house is not normally ran. It's hard to find a balance between what is needed and best for Nickolas and what is needing and best for Sebastian. Sometimes maybe Nickolas feels left out because I have to handle both of them differently. I try to explain to him why I handle Sebastian differently, but this all is weighing heavily on me and my husband.
It can be very stressful and with Sebastian now on the right path, Nickolas is lacking further behind. I need to speak with Beth about Nickolas and ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) of course if he goes into her office, this is different behavior than what is seen at home, even at school.
He takes his medication in the morning and does just fine until he gets home and is told to clean his room or do his homework. I work from home, it is hard having him want negative or positive behaviors, whatever he can get he will take it gladly. I cannot do my work and he cannot get his chores done if he is constantly stopping to handle his moods. Perhaps this is time for a medication change, which they have been against recently, or maybe this "time to himself" thing isn't working. He will "need" it and, in this household that is hard.
His outbursts are hard on everyone, screaming at an adult is not okay, throwing is really not okay (in his room or not) and it is not okay on his little brother, who is sensitive to loud noises. Screaming, kicking/punching holes in my walls, throwing things and slamming doors is not okay.
I have also noticed recently over the past 6 months that he really wants to drive his little brother insane. He will take things from him to get Sebastian in a meltdown then swear that he doesn't know what is wrong or he didn't do anything. This is super frustrating when two children are involved.
Perhaps this is not just about ODD or a medication change... This is about finding and working harder to find the best course of action for Nickolas at this point. One set of certain rules. If we need to stick with the 1-2-3 Magic, so be it, but straying from those rules to accommodate his moods has to stop, he is twisting them to fit whatever need he has and we are getting no where. He cannot hold up the whole house because he is struggling or prolonging doing something because he doesn't feel like doing it, anymore.
Nickolas has been struggling a lot lately. I think lines are getting blurred at his appointments with his therapist, Beth. I am not sure of what she tells him to do. The standard "count to 10" or "punch a pillow" or whatever, but the thing she does suggest to him is, to take time to calm down. Of course, he has been using this to HIS advantage.
If he doesn't want to do something, he uses this excuse. He needs forever to calm down and he is not above screaming in my face at me about how he needs his time or assuming that just because he is 10 years old he knows everything and he is "grown".
For Example: Today he was helping Travis clean the yard. He needs to learn responsibilities. I went out there from handling things indoors, indoors is my thing, but I do help outdoors, just not today. Anyway, I told him that helping Daddy clean the yard builds character and helps him become a man. His response? "I am a man."
Not even close.
His frustrations and outbursts recently have been very hard to handle. They are so frequent that they often blur into each other. He will get out of one episode and have another episode 2 minutes later when I am trying to discuss with him what is needed of him.
Obviously this house is not normally ran. It's hard to find a balance between what is needed and best for Nickolas and what is needing and best for Sebastian. Sometimes maybe Nickolas feels left out because I have to handle both of them differently. I try to explain to him why I handle Sebastian differently, but this all is weighing heavily on me and my husband.
It can be very stressful and with Sebastian now on the right path, Nickolas is lacking further behind. I need to speak with Beth about Nickolas and ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) of course if he goes into her office, this is different behavior than what is seen at home, even at school.
He takes his medication in the morning and does just fine until he gets home and is told to clean his room or do his homework. I work from home, it is hard having him want negative or positive behaviors, whatever he can get he will take it gladly. I cannot do my work and he cannot get his chores done if he is constantly stopping to handle his moods. Perhaps this is time for a medication change, which they have been against recently, or maybe this "time to himself" thing isn't working. He will "need" it and, in this household that is hard.
His outbursts are hard on everyone, screaming at an adult is not okay, throwing is really not okay (in his room or not) and it is not okay on his little brother, who is sensitive to loud noises. Screaming, kicking/punching holes in my walls, throwing things and slamming doors is not okay.
I have also noticed recently over the past 6 months that he really wants to drive his little brother insane. He will take things from him to get Sebastian in a meltdown then swear that he doesn't know what is wrong or he didn't do anything. This is super frustrating when two children are involved.
Perhaps this is not just about ODD or a medication change... This is about finding and working harder to find the best course of action for Nickolas at this point. One set of certain rules. If we need to stick with the 1-2-3 Magic, so be it, but straying from those rules to accommodate his moods has to stop, he is twisting them to fit whatever need he has and we are getting no where. He cannot hold up the whole house because he is struggling or prolonging doing something because he doesn't feel like doing it, anymore.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
March 16, 2010
It's been a very long and trying month. Sebastian attended both of his autism testing appointments and we return on April 2, 2010 for results of the testing and the next steps from here.
NICKOLAS:
Nickolas has been struggling lately to control his emotions. He is often easily angered and snaps before thinking. For example, he finds out his friend is not home or not answering the phone. He will offer to help with getting/making me coffee and then afterwords asks to get on the computer, only to be told 'not right now.'
I asked him what was wrong because I seen, clearly he was upset. He opts against anything being "wrong" but after asking him two or three times he admits he is upset because he can't get on the computer. He cannot be 'bored' well dear... I don't mind him stimulating himself by gaming some or playing on the computer, that is fine, but. I don't want him to be addicted or get so lost in the reality that he has no life outside of the computer and gaming.
I try to get him interested in books and playing by himself or trying to play and interact with his little brother. He is a smart kid and he loves to learn, but I am afraid of that taking the wrong path as far as the internet goes. He also has to learn that not all of the time can we be stimulated, sometimes we have to find things to occupy ourselves and learn/grow.
It's hard to watch him getting upset. I know the pattern, I know he gets angry and cries/screams in his room, but then he comes downstairs and requests a hug. Crying for another reason, he is upset how quickly his mood shifts and he cannot control it. Making him feel bad and he feels silly. It's hard to watch that in your child and feel nearly helpless. I am used to the pattern, I can spot it from a mile away, but... Knowing how much it hurts him to not be able to control it is a hard factor.
I fear this mostly at school... I can handle it. But, the emotions all trickling out at once in a social environment...
***I don't want Nick to end up like I am, isolated from people. I was isolated for a long time as a child. I didn't have many friends at school, I kept to myself. My friends I had were neighborhood friends of different ages, which did me little while at school. Mostly until Middle School, then Middle School I was the wild child and so on. I got into my fair share of trouble, that's for sure. I was locked up for 3 years from the ages of 11 to 15.
Isolated, then busting out and getting in all of that trouble, I had a hard childhood. I got pregnant at 16, with Nickolas. He changed my life and I chose the better path, but again was isolated... I battled panic disorder for many years by myself and did not try to address it. Since 17, I have been dealing with it. In the past 2 years, I have been trying to get better without medication, without therapy.
I fear he could be heading down that road...
SEBASTIAN:
Sebastian has been doing rather well. His appointments went grand. However, now he LOVES Stacy, the Specialist. Some of the things she asked were just insane. Not insane that it wasn't anything near what Sebastian does, but the fact that he DOES do these things. Down to him acting like an animal, a cat to be exact. I am just so super excited with the fact that this is now behind us and we are moving on.
Bassy has done pretty well lately, last night he had a meltdown. No batteries for the Wii remote, we couldn't find Max and Ruby: Playtime (at the time) I had seen the Halloween disc the day before in cleaning my desk, pretty confident that it was still there, finally when I got him to chill, I suggested it. He agreed and then I couldn't find it.
Nick was trying to be nice and suggest other things, which Sebastian wanted no part of... Nick was still trying to be sweet and talk calmly and give Sebastian a little space.... Until he suggested something and Sebastian elbowed him right in the gut... This is a hard situation to handle. One of your kids are melting down and gets a bit violent, the other was trying to help and gets hurt. You cannot punish a melting down child, you can talk about it, but not punish because of it...
Nick was upstairs crying and I am down here on Sebastian's level talking to him about it. Eventually, we found Max and Ruby: Playtime. This is very exhausting, not as bad as both of them having episodes at the same time and having to deal with it, but meltdowns are exhausting. The obsessions over certain things and not understanding the word "No" or "Not right now" is very trying.
Sebastian is in a behavior right now that he wants to play the Wii (specifically, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter games) and he doesn't even have to be awake to request to play. You tell him "No" and he asks again within a minute. This pattern repeats until he gets to play, period.
Well, that is all for now.
NICKOLAS:
Nickolas has been struggling lately to control his emotions. He is often easily angered and snaps before thinking. For example, he finds out his friend is not home or not answering the phone. He will offer to help with getting/making me coffee and then afterwords asks to get on the computer, only to be told 'not right now.'
I asked him what was wrong because I seen, clearly he was upset. He opts against anything being "wrong" but after asking him two or three times he admits he is upset because he can't get on the computer. He cannot be 'bored' well dear... I don't mind him stimulating himself by gaming some or playing on the computer, that is fine, but. I don't want him to be addicted or get so lost in the reality that he has no life outside of the computer and gaming.
I try to get him interested in books and playing by himself or trying to play and interact with his little brother. He is a smart kid and he loves to learn, but I am afraid of that taking the wrong path as far as the internet goes. He also has to learn that not all of the time can we be stimulated, sometimes we have to find things to occupy ourselves and learn/grow.
It's hard to watch him getting upset. I know the pattern, I know he gets angry and cries/screams in his room, but then he comes downstairs and requests a hug. Crying for another reason, he is upset how quickly his mood shifts and he cannot control it. Making him feel bad and he feels silly. It's hard to watch that in your child and feel nearly helpless. I am used to the pattern, I can spot it from a mile away, but... Knowing how much it hurts him to not be able to control it is a hard factor.
I fear this mostly at school... I can handle it. But, the emotions all trickling out at once in a social environment...
***I don't want Nick to end up like I am, isolated from people. I was isolated for a long time as a child. I didn't have many friends at school, I kept to myself. My friends I had were neighborhood friends of different ages, which did me little while at school. Mostly until Middle School, then Middle School I was the wild child and so on. I got into my fair share of trouble, that's for sure. I was locked up for 3 years from the ages of 11 to 15.
Isolated, then busting out and getting in all of that trouble, I had a hard childhood. I got pregnant at 16, with Nickolas. He changed my life and I chose the better path, but again was isolated... I battled panic disorder for many years by myself and did not try to address it. Since 17, I have been dealing with it. In the past 2 years, I have been trying to get better without medication, without therapy.
I fear he could be heading down that road...
SEBASTIAN:
Sebastian has been doing rather well. His appointments went grand. However, now he LOVES Stacy, the Specialist. Some of the things she asked were just insane. Not insane that it wasn't anything near what Sebastian does, but the fact that he DOES do these things. Down to him acting like an animal, a cat to be exact. I am just so super excited with the fact that this is now behind us and we are moving on.
Bassy has done pretty well lately, last night he had a meltdown. No batteries for the Wii remote, we couldn't find Max and Ruby: Playtime (at the time) I had seen the Halloween disc the day before in cleaning my desk, pretty confident that it was still there, finally when I got him to chill, I suggested it. He agreed and then I couldn't find it.
Nick was trying to be nice and suggest other things, which Sebastian wanted no part of... Nick was still trying to be sweet and talk calmly and give Sebastian a little space.... Until he suggested something and Sebastian elbowed him right in the gut... This is a hard situation to handle. One of your kids are melting down and gets a bit violent, the other was trying to help and gets hurt. You cannot punish a melting down child, you can talk about it, but not punish because of it...
Nick was upstairs crying and I am down here on Sebastian's level talking to him about it. Eventually, we found Max and Ruby: Playtime. This is very exhausting, not as bad as both of them having episodes at the same time and having to deal with it, but meltdowns are exhausting. The obsessions over certain things and not understanding the word "No" or "Not right now" is very trying.
Sebastian is in a behavior right now that he wants to play the Wii (specifically, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter games) and he doesn't even have to be awake to request to play. You tell him "No" and he asks again within a minute. This pattern repeats until he gets to play, period.
Well, that is all for now.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
March 2, 2010.
We had a busy weekend with friends over, this is why I have not input anything within a couple of days. Trying to reel myself back in from a bad February.
Nickolas:
Nickolas has struggled this weekend. He is quick to be aggravated and quick to display his emotions without thinking. A friend brought her 6 year old daughter over, which Nickolas is older than and of course she is a girl. He does his best to play with her and her younger sister, who is almost 3 years old.
However, he is quick to display his anger and raise his voice at the little girls or adults trying to correct/help him in the situation. He does not think before he acts, he says hateful things even in front of the other children without any regard for their feelings. Such as, can I come downstairs and play, they are annoying me? Or things of this nature. Granted, younger children can be annoying at times, but yelling at someone else's child is not acceptable.
~I worry about Nickolas. He has been getting decent notes home lately with only two incidents since he started the medication. But, seeing his reactions to other children besides just his brother does trouble me. He does not have the mindset that many of us had as children of his age. He does not form the bonds with kids and quickly results in anger. Which, he did get in a lot of trouble for when other kids at school feed on this type of behavior. Nickolas is quick to anger without thinking and c an drag a small situation into a larger one. Often, bringing all the punishment on himself, rather than just the kids that had got him in trouble. Then, he does not understand 'why' he got in trouble. Any situation can be blown out of proportion when he gets mad.
He later acknowledges the fact that he shouldn't have done that, but I have been trying to help Nick with this behavior since he was 5. I can talk to him about it until I am blue in the face, which then he gets bored and fidgets and stops listening, only for the pattern to continue to repeat itself.
I worry because I want him to display bonds between himself and his friends, but if he acts out the way he does, the chances of him forming bonds with other children may be minimal or strained depending upon him controlling himself.
March 1, 2010.
For Nickolas this was a struggle. His medication was off for 5 days while we waited for the DR to give him another prescription and he was off from Thu, Feb 18 to Wed, Feb 24. He started back on the medications that evening and has been taking them every morning. I think when he goes back we may or may not have to up the dose from 15mg extended release to a slightly higher dose until we find what he can control.
For a while, he was doing good even not on the medication, acceptable. However, once he got the medication he has backed off trying to control it and instead is relying on the medication to do everything.
Nickolas offers often to help me, even with his brother. Sometimes I do let him play a big brother role and help out. He likes to help give Sebastian a bath because they play games together and he makes bath-time fun for Sebastian (which has not always been the case.) they play with action figures or other little games to keep Sebastian getting clean. However, I had a incident last night, which happens pretty often. This is a example of what goes on between the two of them.
Sebastian refers to a shower as rain or a bath as a river. Sebastian wanted rain, but Nickolas keeps trying to give Sebastian a river. Sebastian is standing in the shower having a meltdown because Nickolas is trying to do it his way and Sebastian is acting 'hurt' as if he is not being heard in the situation.
Sebastian breaks down and is crying and screaming that he wants rain, not a river. Nick in turn starts yelling back at Sebastian and this is when I step in. I have to calm Sebastian down, he will get rain and not a river. Nickolas is completely in yelling/frustrated mode.
Sebastian is contained that I addressed him in rain, not river.
Nickolas is still ready to scream, he is not heard what is being said to him. He starts to yell at me about the situation between him and his brother and I have to remind him of his brothers sensory issues, that if he feels like he is not being heard, or is in fact being ignored, he is going to get frustrated. He needs to take the additional time to listen and understand what Sebastian is saying rather than just wanting to do things his way, with Sebastian it is a compromise and you cannot always talk him down out of what he has his mind set on.
Nick eventually calms down.
Sebastian:
Not much to report on Sebastian, but as I stated earlier we had company, friends come in this weekend. He played some, downstairs, but would not play with the kids upstairs. You have to make up many fun things to keep his attention, but for the most part he is more content downstairs with the adults, or off in his own world with his toys.
He looked forward all week to playing with the 6 year old and was even ready when they left for us to go visit their hour, they live nearly a hour away and we do not get to see them as often as he would like. But, he plays better with the almost 3 year old than the 6 year old. At one point him and the 3 year old were sitting on the stairs throwing a ball down the stairs and Sebastian would get it and keep bringing it back to the baby.
He is very gentle with the 3 year old, (she is actually 2 1/2, her birthday is in September) but he will take his toys away from her if they are his favorites. Sharing is a difficulty for Sebastian, Nickolas understands this for the most part, but other children do not, so much.
Sebastian for the most part will be with me throughout the day. I understand what he says/wants or needs for the most part and can help him the best. I work from home, on the computer in the living room so I can still work and pay attention to what I need to do. I can multi-task due to my 'work' being non-schedule work, just work when I can.
So, in the past two years of doing my work I have learned to work and keep a eye on the boys, Sebastian is in the room with me and Nick is at the top of open concept stairs, so I can hear what goes on from any direction.
Another thing I have noticed in the past 2 weeks is Sebastian's reaction to the cat we have now had since September 2009. At first, he was not gentle with Slick (the cat.) He is often very bouncy and full of energy, which scares the now 6 year old cat. We got a cat to lower stress levels between the boys and have done reading about animals and children with autism. I as a child had ADD and almost always had a cat, finding them very relaxing, we thought this would be a wonderful option for both of the kids.
When we first brought Slick home, Sebastian is not cautious and just bounce into the cat or he would get close enough to the cat, the cat would get spooked and run off, but in the process of running off, Sebastian would pull his tail to keep him near. Slick is front de-clawed, but not back de-clawed. So, the normal reaction will not hurt Sebastian.
They did not get along for a while, but cats are very forgiving. I noticed within the past 2 weeks that Slick does give both Nickolas and Sebastian more attention, Sebastian does not pull his tail. However, if the cat is bothering me, Sebastian will chase him off.
That is all for this particular entry at this time. Many other things have happened within the past few days, but these are good starting points to what has happened in the past couple of days since I last made a entry.
Nickolas:
Nickolas has struggled this weekend. He is quick to be aggravated and quick to display his emotions without thinking. A friend brought her 6 year old daughter over, which Nickolas is older than and of course she is a girl. He does his best to play with her and her younger sister, who is almost 3 years old.
However, he is quick to display his anger and raise his voice at the little girls or adults trying to correct/help him in the situation. He does not think before he acts, he says hateful things even in front of the other children without any regard for their feelings. Such as, can I come downstairs and play, they are annoying me? Or things of this nature. Granted, younger children can be annoying at times, but yelling at someone else's child is not acceptable.
~I worry about Nickolas. He has been getting decent notes home lately with only two incidents since he started the medication. But, seeing his reactions to other children besides just his brother does trouble me. He does not have the mindset that many of us had as children of his age. He does not form the bonds with kids and quickly results in anger. Which, he did get in a lot of trouble for when other kids at school feed on this type of behavior. Nickolas is quick to anger without thinking and c an drag a small situation into a larger one. Often, bringing all the punishment on himself, rather than just the kids that had got him in trouble. Then, he does not understand 'why' he got in trouble. Any situation can be blown out of proportion when he gets mad.
He later acknowledges the fact that he shouldn't have done that, but I have been trying to help Nick with this behavior since he was 5. I can talk to him about it until I am blue in the face, which then he gets bored and fidgets and stops listening, only for the pattern to continue to repeat itself.
I worry because I want him to display bonds between himself and his friends, but if he acts out the way he does, the chances of him forming bonds with other children may be minimal or strained depending upon him controlling himself.
March 1, 2010.
For Nickolas this was a struggle. His medication was off for 5 days while we waited for the DR to give him another prescription and he was off from Thu, Feb 18 to Wed, Feb 24. He started back on the medications that evening and has been taking them every morning. I think when he goes back we may or may not have to up the dose from 15mg extended release to a slightly higher dose until we find what he can control.
For a while, he was doing good even not on the medication, acceptable. However, once he got the medication he has backed off trying to control it and instead is relying on the medication to do everything.
Nickolas offers often to help me, even with his brother. Sometimes I do let him play a big brother role and help out. He likes to help give Sebastian a bath because they play games together and he makes bath-time fun for Sebastian (which has not always been the case.) they play with action figures or other little games to keep Sebastian getting clean. However, I had a incident last night, which happens pretty often. This is a example of what goes on between the two of them.
Sebastian refers to a shower as rain or a bath as a river. Sebastian wanted rain, but Nickolas keeps trying to give Sebastian a river. Sebastian is standing in the shower having a meltdown because Nickolas is trying to do it his way and Sebastian is acting 'hurt' as if he is not being heard in the situation.
Sebastian breaks down and is crying and screaming that he wants rain, not a river. Nick in turn starts yelling back at Sebastian and this is when I step in. I have to calm Sebastian down, he will get rain and not a river. Nickolas is completely in yelling/frustrated mode.
Sebastian is contained that I addressed him in rain, not river.
Nickolas is still ready to scream, he is not heard what is being said to him. He starts to yell at me about the situation between him and his brother and I have to remind him of his brothers sensory issues, that if he feels like he is not being heard, or is in fact being ignored, he is going to get frustrated. He needs to take the additional time to listen and understand what Sebastian is saying rather than just wanting to do things his way, with Sebastian it is a compromise and you cannot always talk him down out of what he has his mind set on.
Nick eventually calms down.
Sebastian:
Not much to report on Sebastian, but as I stated earlier we had company, friends come in this weekend. He played some, downstairs, but would not play with the kids upstairs. You have to make up many fun things to keep his attention, but for the most part he is more content downstairs with the adults, or off in his own world with his toys.
He looked forward all week to playing with the 6 year old and was even ready when they left for us to go visit their hour, they live nearly a hour away and we do not get to see them as often as he would like. But, he plays better with the almost 3 year old than the 6 year old. At one point him and the 3 year old were sitting on the stairs throwing a ball down the stairs and Sebastian would get it and keep bringing it back to the baby.
He is very gentle with the 3 year old, (she is actually 2 1/2, her birthday is in September) but he will take his toys away from her if they are his favorites. Sharing is a difficulty for Sebastian, Nickolas understands this for the most part, but other children do not, so much.
Sebastian for the most part will be with me throughout the day. I understand what he says/wants or needs for the most part and can help him the best. I work from home, on the computer in the living room so I can still work and pay attention to what I need to do. I can multi-task due to my 'work' being non-schedule work, just work when I can.
So, in the past two years of doing my work I have learned to work and keep a eye on the boys, Sebastian is in the room with me and Nick is at the top of open concept stairs, so I can hear what goes on from any direction.
Another thing I have noticed in the past 2 weeks is Sebastian's reaction to the cat we have now had since September 2009. At first, he was not gentle with Slick (the cat.) He is often very bouncy and full of energy, which scares the now 6 year old cat. We got a cat to lower stress levels between the boys and have done reading about animals and children with autism. I as a child had ADD and almost always had a cat, finding them very relaxing, we thought this would be a wonderful option for both of the kids.
When we first brought Slick home, Sebastian is not cautious and just bounce into the cat or he would get close enough to the cat, the cat would get spooked and run off, but in the process of running off, Sebastian would pull his tail to keep him near. Slick is front de-clawed, but not back de-clawed. So, the normal reaction will not hurt Sebastian.
They did not get along for a while, but cats are very forgiving. I noticed within the past 2 weeks that Slick does give both Nickolas and Sebastian more attention, Sebastian does not pull his tail. However, if the cat is bothering me, Sebastian will chase him off.
That is all for this particular entry at this time. Many other things have happened within the past few days, but these are good starting points to what has happened in the past couple of days since I last made a entry.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
February 25, 2010.
Nickolas:
Many outbursts of frustration over normal chores. Not listening to what is actually being said instead of reacting to what he thinks is being said. Nick is responsible for chores (including his bedroom and trash to keep it clean and earn a allowance, which he hasn't gotten in a few weeks) he would rather rush through these chores and say they are complete than taking the time to do them the right way or get frustrated when I tell him he missed something or did not finish another.
Little adult syndrome: He back-talks us. I try to correct him or ask him not to roll his eyes when I correct him or speak to him, he gets a attitude and gets frustrated under his breath, 'I didn't do that' then cries about it. Making a big deal that he did not roll his eyes or back-talk us.
Sebastian:
Trying to vocalize more and play with his big brother and best friend. Not frustrated by Nickolas' behavior as of yet today. Sebastian has a need when he wakes up, even after just opening to his eyes to request a specific game on the Wii or to watch TV. Currently the games he wants to play are Naruto: 1 or watch Max and Ruby, or Little Bear.
Struggling to keep him clothed in this cold weather. I had to help him and "threaten" to take away his cartoons or game if he did not put them on. Also, as I have been for the past year, his obsession to chew on 'attackin' toys is a daily thing. Constantly reminding him if he tears them up that he cannot play with them, telling him he is going to hurt/damage his teeth has no effect as he does not understand.
Not to self: Need to setup a Eye DR appointment for Nickolas as his eye chart check at the DR office for his headaches and knee pain she gave him a eye test and he did not do very well. Need to get this checked. Also, need to setup Dentist appointments for both of the boys.
This is all for today, thus far.
Many outbursts of frustration over normal chores. Not listening to what is actually being said instead of reacting to what he thinks is being said. Nick is responsible for chores (including his bedroom and trash to keep it clean and earn a allowance, which he hasn't gotten in a few weeks) he would rather rush through these chores and say they are complete than taking the time to do them the right way or get frustrated when I tell him he missed something or did not finish another.
Little adult syndrome: He back-talks us. I try to correct him or ask him not to roll his eyes when I correct him or speak to him, he gets a attitude and gets frustrated under his breath, 'I didn't do that' then cries about it. Making a big deal that he did not roll his eyes or back-talk us.
Sebastian:
Trying to vocalize more and play with his big brother and best friend. Not frustrated by Nickolas' behavior as of yet today. Sebastian has a need when he wakes up, even after just opening to his eyes to request a specific game on the Wii or to watch TV. Currently the games he wants to play are Naruto: 1 or watch Max and Ruby, or Little Bear.
Struggling to keep him clothed in this cold weather. I had to help him and "threaten" to take away his cartoons or game if he did not put them on. Also, as I have been for the past year, his obsession to chew on 'attackin' toys is a daily thing. Constantly reminding him if he tears them up that he cannot play with them, telling him he is going to hurt/damage his teeth has no effect as he does not understand.
Not to self: Need to setup a Eye DR appointment for Nickolas as his eye chart check at the DR office for his headaches and knee pain she gave him a eye test and he did not do very well. Need to get this checked. Also, need to setup Dentist appointments for both of the boys.
This is all for today, thus far.
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