Frustration.

Nickolas
Nickolas has been struggling a lot lately. I think lines are getting blurred at his appointments with his therapist, Beth. I am not sure of what she tells him to do. The standard "count to 10" or "punch a pillow" or whatever, but the thing she does suggest to him is, to take time to calm down. Of course, he has been using this to HIS advantage.

If he doesn't want to do something, he uses this excuse. He needs forever to calm down and he is not above screaming in my face at me about how he needs his time or assuming that just because he is 10 years old he knows everything and he is "grown".

For Example: Today he was helping Travis clean the yard. He needs to learn responsibilities. I went out there from handling things indoors, indoors is my thing, but I do help outdoors, just not today. Anyway, I told him that helping Daddy clean the yard builds character and helps him become a man. His response? "I am a man."

Not even close.

His frustrations and outbursts recently have been very hard to handle. They are so frequent that they often blur into each other. He will get out of one episode and have another episode 2 minutes later when I am trying to discuss with him what is needed of him.

Obviously this house is not normally ran. It's hard to find a balance between what is needed and best for Nickolas and what is needing and best for Sebastian. Sometimes maybe Nickolas feels left out because I have to handle both of them differently. I try to explain to him why I handle Sebastian differently, but this all is weighing heavily on me and my husband.

It can be very stressful and with Sebastian now on the right path, Nickolas is lacking further behind. I need to speak with Beth about Nickolas and ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) of course if he goes into her office, this is different behavior than what is seen at home, even at school.

He takes his medication in the morning and does just fine until he gets home and is told to clean his room or do his homework. I work from home, it is hard having him want negative or positive behaviors, whatever he can get he will take it gladly. I cannot do my work and he cannot get his chores done if he is constantly stopping to handle his moods. Perhaps this is time for a medication change, which they have been against recently, or maybe this "time to himself" thing isn't working. He will "need" it and, in this household that is hard.

His outbursts are hard on everyone, screaming at an adult is not okay, throwing is really not okay (in his room or not) and it is not okay on his little brother, who is sensitive to loud noises. Screaming, kicking/punching holes in my walls, throwing things and slamming doors is not okay.

I have also noticed recently over the past 6 months that he really wants to drive his little brother insane. He will take things from him to get Sebastian in a meltdown then swear that he doesn't know what is wrong or he didn't do anything. This is super frustrating when two children are involved.

Perhaps this is not just about ODD or a medication change... This is about finding and working harder to find the best course of action for Nickolas at this point. One set of certain rules. If we need to stick with the 1-2-3 Magic, so be it, but straying from those rules to accommodate his moods has to stop, he is twisting them to fit whatever need he has and we are getting no where. He cannot hold up the whole house because he is struggling or prolonging doing something because he doesn't feel like doing it, anymore.